Venomous Barbs
Portuguese Man O’ War washes
up in white foam
where I walk the wide stripe
of wet sand. A little girl, just three or four,
plays at the water’s edge, pink
plastic bucket, dark curls of wild
summer-child hair. I turn and say,
Be careful. Stay away
from that thing; it can still sting,
but she doesn’t know me, maybe
doesn’t hear, barely
glances my way as she sets her wet
foot right on the purple
puffed edge of the pillow
full of knives and
screams.
I try not to panic, scan
the colorful sea of faceless
people dotting a desert of beige.
Where are your parents, honey?
She doesn’t answer, only picks
up her foot, examines
the wound, still wailing.
My heart pounds
to the rhythm of her father’s
feet, beckoned by her
ear-spitting keen. He sprints
from his chair, lifts her
in the air as I tell him
what I witnessed. When he carries
her away, I ache, wonder
what more I could have done,
retrieve the drifting bucket, set it safely
on the sand, stand
around until someone comes
to remove the carcass, tell
the throng of kids who gather,
Don’t touch it. Please
don’t touch it. This can hurt you
even after it’s dead and gone.
13 thoughts on "Venomous Barbs"
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A great story, Chelsie, vividly told. That poor little girl!
I feel the helplessness
Wow, Chelsie! On fire. I love the many-layeredness of this title and “dark curls of wild/summer-child hair.” and that evoking end.
Thank you—not sure the ending is hitting exactly right, but oh well. It’s a draft.
This is flawless! I love how you can take everyday scenes from family life, elevate them and make them universal.
I love this poem and the ending works well, even if it is a draft, it doesn’t read rough at all.
You give us a series of moving images that match the poem’s cadence.
Great write!
I love your depiction of the little girl, your crafting of the emotions you feel while helpless to help.
I especially like the last stanza. Takes me beyond the poem and into thoughts of other things that still hurt long after they are gone .
Good poem.
So well written in content and form. Enjoy the addition of dialogue and thought. “people dotting a desert of beige” – nice!
Effectively shows the the venom hidden underneath beauty. Everything sounds soft and lovely until she steps and screams.
Love the ‘P’ sounds “purple
puffed edge of the pillow
full of knives
Haunting last stanza.
Love it. I’m goofy enough to want to poke around something like that man o’ war. Tough lesson learned.
This poem beautifully speaks to that which appears beautiful (those purple/irridescent remains) can so easily be a source of danger. It reminds me of the Sirens in the Odyssey.
she sets her wet
foot right on the purple
puffed edge of the pillow
full of knives and
screams.
This is the climax of your short story, and you express it so well, I can see it, I can feel what the child feels, and I can hear her scream.
And your resolution of the story is so apt and sensitive. Thank you so much for this poem.
Beautifully told story, Chelsea. I like the form, as well!
eee, vivid. Honestly caught my attention because poison barbs and arrows, the image I keep encountering (in reading), 4 or five times in 2 days, & in discussion of Hawthorne trees. & Then what a great follow up to your seahorse tattoo poem. Marine life, pointy things, and heavy emotional evocation. Holy cow !