i’m a stitch away from
            soft         implosion 
think i like        her cause
her cheeks are slick & cherried
think she’s    angel twin
    too my first girllove
first middle school
                best friend     turned  
maladaptive daydream
    we stole beers from her mom’s
garage fridge         inside her hot home
in zebulon                 we sat under moonlight
                                some nights as she smoked
cigarettes she took from her mother
without her noticing                         & then she
                got swept away with the wind of life
& ran from me                 on deer legs kicking
up all these feelings in me
                            & now i see her face in my ex
boyfriend’s new girl & it troubles me
                something deep             how twin
they seem                         blue eyes
hair flaxen blonde             cigarette fiend with
the same taste in heavy music             & aura
        is it bad i want her to notice me sweet?
        is it bad i wanna save her from my ex’s
 small boney hands & self deprecating narcissism
                            wanna tell her she can’t love that        boy
cause he doesn’t believe in loving himself
                            wanna tell her he’ll probably leave her out
to dry like roadkill                             but something tells me
she might already know                   my existence & the soft
rage in my belly      from his sharp teeth   biting micro agressions
         into me           the wounds haven’t healed yet but                   
i think my blood is stained permanently on his teeth         &
i like to think she must love the taste of me on him             &&&&&
i             hope she dreams of me inside his eyes