very complicated toxic crush
i’m a stitch away from
soft implosion
think i like her cause
her cheeks are slick & cherried
think she’s angel twin
too my first girllove
first middle school
best friend turned
maladaptive daydream
we stole beers from her mom’s
garage fridge inside her hot home
in zebulon we sat under moonlight
some nights as she smoked
cigarettes she took from her mother
without her noticing & then she
got swept away with the wind of life
& ran from me on deer legs kicking
up all these feelings in me
& now i see her face in my ex
boyfriend’s new girl & it troubles me
something deep how twin
they seem blue eyes
hair flaxen blonde cigarette fiend with
the same taste in heavy music & aura
is it bad i want her to notice me sweet?
is it bad i wanna save her from my ex’s
small boney hands & self deprecating narcissism
wanna tell her she can’t love that boy
cause he doesn’t believe in loving himself
wanna tell her he’ll probably leave her out
to dry like roadkill but something tells me
she might already know my existence & the soft
rage in my belly from his sharp teeth biting micro agressions
into me the wounds haven’t healed yet but
i think my blood is stained permanently on his teeth &
i like to think she must love the taste of me on him &&&&&
i hope she dreams of me inside his eyes
2 thoughts on "very complicated toxic crush"
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For all that’s going on in the poem, it never gets to a point where the reader feels lost. I’m still in the narrator’s thoughts, I’m in this social exchange, still able to follow what’s happening as more characters are introduced. Shows you really put thought into this, and it’s very well done.
this is incredible! I love the way the poem embodied itself on the page in word and form.
you Be amazing!