aw, you needed some lovin’
he said to me before
tasting my lips, again
my head facing upward
pressed against the warmth
of his chest

after our departure
the gut-wrenching remorse
settled like a stone
tossed into the creek
a sickening punishment
for loving

he squeezed my thigh
a playful search for muscle
and tingles coursed down my legs
a considerate embrace
a gentle, passionate touch

years of embedded teaching
that two men kissing
led you straight to
the flaming depths of hell
resurface
and a final destination
is fearfully settled upon

is this your natural hair color?
i nodded and our lips joined again
he played with my hair
and i with his
before our hands joined
and we kissed again

my love shouldn’t be a curse
yet it felt like that fate
was decided long ago
i’m ashamed of this guilt
but hate can run so deep
it becomes you
mocks your loving

i pushed past this hurt
this guilt
this hate
and kissed
believing what i know:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body
to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude. It does not
insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with
the truth. Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never ends.