Yearning
I yearned for darkness
Consuming all my desire
Until I didn’t yearn for anything anymore.
But now that I’ve poked my head out
Into the light
I want
I want.
Consuming my insides
How much I need
Give it to me.
Don’t.
Please.
No.
I push and pull my aching to and fro
Convincing myself I don’t need it
I don’t want it
When it’s clawing its way up through
My throat and out of my mouth
Trapping itself in my nostrils until
It realizes there’s nowhere else to go
Except to reach brain matter.
Where it knaws and rots and squelches out of my ears.
Make it someone else’s problem until it chews them up from the inside out
And they have to squash it
I self cannibalize.
I eat myself alive until there’s nothing left but everything
And it’s too much
I’m too much.
6 thoughts on "Yearning"
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I love the structure you gave to this piece, and I love the line “trapping itself in my nostrils…”!
Thank you Katelyn!!
Love it! Visceral and universal A bit Freudian?
Thank you!!!
This poem keeps moving interestingly unexpected, aided by the use of space. And ‘I eat myself alive until there’s nothing left but everything’ is one hell of a line. Nothing in this is short of fantastic. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for all your kind words!!!