Sage advice (as opposed to parsley, rosemary or thyme):

Use your turn signals,
Spay and neuter your pets,
Always keep a diversified portfolio,
Never eat Corn Nuts alone,
Never photograph, film or videotape yourself holding what appears to be the bloodied severed head of a white president,
Don’t call it fast food (it’s neither),
Never take a triple-dog dare (too many dogs),
If your last name is Sherman, change it before moving to Georgia,
You can change the world–if you have a big enough diaper.