I didn’t wear mascara that day.
No one noticed black lines
smudged as I nonchalantly wiped at my face.
No one stared as I ate chicken tenders alone
the aftermath.
Nothing draws attention in a school cafeteria
quite like smudged glitter and mascara
a girl eating alone.
I wanted to be alone.
No matter how hard I tried to stay out of it
you pushed my head into the water
over and over
until I couldn’t hold my breath anymore. 
Sinking 
down
down
down
until someone pulled me out.
Funny to think my sobs sounded like coughing up water.
Now everytime I see you
I think about the promises I made.
I think about being used.
I think about my sob story
the pieces of the puzzle put together
it doesn’t quite hit as hard when you break it apart.
Keep that in mind
when I hold my head high
I never let the mascara run.