You’ve Been Chosen!
Greetings Dear Friend!
My Beloved in Christ,
I Have a Business Proposal
for you. Permit me to share
with you, my desire to go into
a Godly business partnership with you.
Why won’t the weight come off?
I wanted to reach out personally.
Don’t worry, there’s no bad news!
In fact, I’m hoping this will
motivate you to get started
with your personal wellness
journey sooner. First of all,
I got you a 79% discount!
But why did I do it?
Claim Your BOGO Free!
Beloved I apologize for contacting you
through this means for an important offer,
how are you & your family over there?
Buenos dias querido, recibiste mi email?
I am contacting you
because the recent report
from my Doctor told me that
I have some weeks to live
due to cardiac & kidney failure
problem, having known my condition
I seek your permission
to present you to the bank
as my late husband foreign investors
to retrieve the fund ($15,000,000)
& utilize for establishing orphanages home
for the poor & needy, & also
propagating the word of God
& to endeavor that the house of God
is maintained.
You’ve Been Chosen!
No one should ask you
to run 10 miles a day
or cut out your favorite foods!
But don’t take our word for it!
Take theirs!
Good Day,
Sorry for introducing on your Privacy.
Final Hours!
Urgent letter from the hospital
on a money transaction.
I am an American soldier,
Please get back to me
for more detail.
Do you Speak Engllsh?
My colleague Stephanie
just found you on Instagram
& loved your content!
Similar accounts to yours
are CRUSHING it on Instagram—
from what I’ve seen, you could be doing
even better than them!
Hey Did My Mail Find You Well?
You need to provide your full information
signifying your interest.
1. Full Name:
2. Home or Office Address:
3. Telephone Number:
4. Age:
5. Sex:
6. Occupation:
7. Marital Status:
8. Nationality:
9. A scanning copy of your passport or ID card:
Hello Dear one,
Did you receive my previous mail???
Transform Your Skin!
It fixed my skin lickity split,
leaving me with normal skin
& a glowing complexion!
Your Payment Has Been Processed!
Please I need an honest person
who will take very good care
of this project.
7 Hours It’s Over!
Your contact was an act of God
& why I had to choose you divine
& I cannot question my God.
Sincerely,
Your Sister in Christ.
16 thoughts on "You’ve Been Chosen!"
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Damn, you never let up, do you? I almost bit because I was becoming hypnotized.
Lolololol
Both hilarious and ominous because it felt so real. Great idea so well executed.
Clever take on scams!
A flyer endeavors an end run,
“Time stands still for no one.”
Here’s a chance to be a leader,
the headline counsels its readers.
Time to Make the Payments
for Cremation Prearrangements.
As the last bullet reasons,
though now’s the time for leaving,
you can leave loved ones feeling breezy:
Everything is handled, rest easy.
my right foot amputated
sip ur java for the boys in blue
with blue-line expresso
my left arm is gangrene
possibilities endless
give it all you got
LOL I feel this one
Ha! The email from the American Soldier ranks up there with the Nigerian Prince.
All the above.
I KNEW there was a good use for those hilarious emails 😂
What Bill said most of all
Found poem?
Yep. Every word was drawn from emails in my spam folder.
A while back there was a movement called Spoetry, which consisted of poems found in spam folders.
Kevin – You keep outdoing yourself! Good Day,
Sorry for introducing on your Privacy. – what a world! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Sylvia! What a world indeed.
Poeming with what’s at your fingertips. Kind of like a director of a low-budget movie that becomes an Oscar-winner.
Makes me think of Merle Travis’s “So Round, So Firm, So Full Packed” lol