Roughly translates to revenge bedtime procrastination where the lack of control in one’s life leads to a refusal to sleep a futile attempt to reclaim some semblance of autonomy in the daily landslide of confusion I remember as a child the dark rings under my eyes twin crescents eclipsing stability of mind a signal that the body needs to slumber to recover am I a lunatic moon crazed hungry for rehabilitation from what they called insomnia we experimented with medication for years to alleviate but still haven’t cured back then I’d abstain for days daydreamed of perpetual waking even tried it only to fall comatose while skateboarding brought to consciousness by colliding with concrete even now my nights are plagued with spectres shadowy retellings of a life gone awry I’m haunted by echoes of warped loved ones disappointed in the directionless meandering I call life don’t worry I feel the same adrift in a haze where the horizon is painted in the same fog of confusion I wake to trying to stave off hearing those pained tones ever again by spending the last few hours of every evening searching for something to find meaning in to atone for sins that never were.