Sorry
Apologies are funny things-
seldom meant
and seldom believed.
But I am sorry
and I wish you
could see.
in my neighborhood
lives a pig
a broad, strong thing
with curves of white porcelain
and a pink painted snout
each day he moves
hidden in the bushes
or perched on the porch
while countless passers by
admire the trails
of this traveling pig
yesterday spent hidden
behind the thick trunk
of the maple tree on the corner
the day before passed
gazing out on the road
from beneath the porch swing
but today he is gone
packed up or discarded
I do not know
and all that can be said
of this traveling pig
is that the world is let brilliant
without him
Jarring landscapes bend
near symmetries breaking point
fidelity fails
A psychosis scheme
of divisive disruption
cognitive collapse
Internal whispers
mechanical rhyme rising
kinetic effect
Captures chaotic
conditions clasped in cold chains
mind’s eye prisoner
Distorted senses
anxious anomalies tint
visions perceptions
Whispering worries
an ever-present demon
contained from within
My dear animal self,
It is enough
to have kindred.
It is enough
to have myself.
It is enough
to hold muses to my ear.
It is enough
to feel hero-journeys in my veins.
It is enough
to uncover new little joys: the birdsong and whiskers this side of town.
It is enough
to fill my air with light.
It is enough
to return to the woods free of the emotions once buried there.
It is enough
to keep building who I am.
It is enough
to not leap today into a hurricane misspoken as love or lust.
It is best
to hold yourself until the weather clears.
Top of the 1st
dug up my heart from last season
like a damn fool
swore i was done with this rambling wreck
after finishing 24 games out in the Central
they use to be a big red shiny machine way back when
Sparky was skipper
Dusty was my fave
My sister made me a fan
Had me hook line and sinker
from the first game she made me listen to
Use to pretend I was Mario Soto trying to get that change up
To break nasty against the side of the cinderblock garage
i was warned not to throw anything against. It never worked
I never listened to the decisions management has made that year
Bottom of the 1st
we 22-41 and 15.5 out in the Central
And all I want is a rain delay
to last 99 more games
so i can swear that this is it
i’m done. . .
until she comes calling me again in the spring
I drowned whilst praying.
I guess it didn’t occur to me to unbend my elbows
and do any sort of flailing or waving
but the sticky blindness of the seafloor isn’t that uncomfortable
all the fish have too many or not enough mouths
have God teeth have God eyes have God skin
that rubs against me
once I’ve gotten all this mud off
I’ll float back up
Don’t want to go back to the God place like this
-In Memory of Joseph Enzweiler (1950-2011)
Minutes before sun rests
it casts rock wall
in copper
Trophy to day’s end
and the man who stacked
the stones
Jeweler’s Avenue and the raindrops on the train window are diamonds
as the angel with scoliosis sings love on the rocks and you miss your stop
again.
The girl you knew would come back has done so sooner than expected
as did the girl you didn’t expect to
you have never been on a street so big alone before.
Men on the subway keep offering you their seats
but it’s alright because you imagine they are Leonard Cohen
how could his former lover be so mean to him? everyone steals from Camus.
You woke up too late to eat breakfast
so scramble eggs with cheese and toast think about accompanying it with vodka
change your mind and feed it to the girl who would certainly give up her seat on the train.
It feels like trying
to catch a leaf
with someone
else’s hands
I don’t know yet
if I like it
