Posts for June 4, 2019 (page 3)

the farewell summers are blossoming.
stretching their skinny necks skyward
with proud purple heads
bouncing unabashedly on a breeze
that’s too cool for the season.
their instincts tell them frost is coming.
they can feel it in their roots.
i tried to reason with them,

to remind them that June
is reserved for white weddings
and delicate Queen Anne’s lace 
and blonde headed daisies
and that we’ve got a whole summer
to slog and sweat through.
but you know how flowers are-

so full of themselves.

HE’S BACK AGAIN
IT’S THAT HORRIBLE DOG
THERE IS ANTS ON HIM
AND HE’S *REAL*
He SHOULDN’T BE
iiiiIIIIII DON’T LIKE IT DOGS DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT   THERE’S A CHEESE PLATE
AND A GLASS OF WINE ON HIM TIPPING AND SPILLING HE’S CRYING
BECAUSE HIS RED AND WHITE CHECKERS HAVE PURPLE ON HIM

HE IS A BAD DOG. HE SMELLS LIKE THE GROUND

i want to scrape away at the surface of our love

jab my fingers into the open wounds just to feel a little more

i’ll say i’m trying to stop the bleeding but really i just want to see you wince, one last time

i’ll pull at the knots of our intertwined hearts
and try mold myself back into your ideal lover

can the five stages of grief be applied to breakups?
or is the b word too juvenile?
maybe i should say separations instead

it makes the pain sound a little more serious

i’m in constant denial of your loss of love for me
like a parent who’s just watched their child bleed out on the pavement
i’ve watched the love drain from your eyes,
seeping into an awaiting gutter

i’ve considered offering up my soul
to have you back
in contemplating whether or not to bargain with the devil
i bargain with myself
i would do anything, i say

you’ve dug so deep i can barely function
all my cuts scab up the way they should
why do you always have to pick at them until they bleed again?

i think i’ve lost my touch
how many different ways can i write about carving up my Body
into all the pieces that leave my mind alone- 
i act like im after Spirit isolation. 
i cant even spend an evening unatttended. 
Maybe i need all this skin to keep me company
Maybe i’ll try thanking the new inches of meat for coming over
they know I need more than Bones to talk to

She told the same unhappy
stories all her life even to
the very characters she
blamed for her misery.

She accused them of betrayal
and abandonment for so long
they refused to listen to her
stories or stick around
to be in them
anymore. 

She felt betrayed and abandoned.

They felt blameless and free.

There is a difference 
a BIG difference 
between the lovers and the loved. 

One of them,
can feel it in their core 
it envelops them
keeps them warm at night. 
They do not know the definition of lonely. 

The other, 
feels only for objects of her affection 
giving and giving and giving 
never receiving
longing to be wanted the way she wants others. 

She often sits and wonders 
what it would feel like 
to be on the other side. 

albino wastrel
sucked free of cherry juices
other seeking

squirming tail, dry stem
two symbols
striving and regret
settle out of time
sterile

ABOVE THAT LOSS THE
DRONE OF HYBRID VIGOR

Tiny fingers wipe my tears.
A palm so soft and delicate
brushes my cheek.
She holds me
with such tenderness. 
She tends to my wounds so carefully,
this creature so small,
so wild, 
once so filled with hurt and fear.

i have a thing
for the guys
who have a thing
for the girls
but
who just might
                                       cross the street

We borrow these places to
plant the seeds of our memories.
Left with a promise,
you will return.
They’ll hit you suddenly;
staring at the ground where
your childhood home stood,
or on the sidewalk that once
held a forest with trees
dancing in every direction.
Nothing stays the same.
We only get it for a little while
to sow ourselves into the layers
of history, and to weave
pieces of the stories we’ll
one day tell our children
about those times we had
way back in the day
when there were forests
and wild animals
and assurances
that it would be okay.