Posts for June 26, 2019 (page 2)

the sprinklers are on
and kids are playing outside
in the mid-July heat
grass sticks to their tiny, bare feet
as their parents gossip next door
the sound of lawnmowers masks it all
this was the smell of tonight

i sat under the porch light
wearing pajamas and flip-flops
the world around me asleep
the air still muggy
a moth flew above my head
i stood up and stepped into the grass
there was a lone firefly
and it reminded me of childhood:

wearing shorts without a shirt or shoes
running to catch fireflies in the heavy dusk
putting them in the mason jars
Mammaw’d use for cannin’ green beans
sometimes i’d forget to poke holes in the lid
and i’d wake in the morning
to realize
their fire was dead
i’d open the lid
to set them free
for them to find that spark again
but
they wouldn’t move
so i’d dump them out into the grass
and that night
right at dusk
when the fireflies started to move again
i’d try again
and maybe
i wouldn’t forget to poke holes
this time

An infinitesimal outcry
mustered softly by the victim
to which no one shall hear.
No response is eminent
because the message remains
without someone to answer it..
And so the struggle continues
ignored by the pretentious doubters
likely to become hopeless deniers
downplaying the caustic reaction
inflicted upon both mind and body
spirit and demeanor,
bemoaning of one’s character
for many years to come
This happens when deflowering
comes brutally.
Blemishes of the body
may mend over time
but the emotional impact
will last forever.  
At once an unlikely
hero emerges from the placid
sylvan bush where
the stream emerges.
The blow is sudden
and direct, a concrete fragment
descends on the head of the attacker.
He collapses at once;
never knew what hit him.
All she feels is vindication
from the raging thrusts
of power and control,
but most of all humiliation.
Now the foe lies powerless
As was his stooge
just moments before their came deliverance
from an improbable source.  
The hero rolls
the defeated predator over
with a swift, brawny boot.
He enjoys a brief leer
before finishing the job.
The agent of demise
ascends up with his outstretched arms
of this unlikely rescuer.
The impact will be deadly.
Just moments before
this private justice is carried out,
the disheveled prey
pleas with the executioner
to cease from this harsh penalty.
“He is not deserving
of such a cruel fate,”
she insists.  “I know God would
object since this is not
an eye for an eye.
My life will continue
He made a mistake-
to error is human, to forgive: divine.”  
Hesitantly, the saint
lowers the weapon,
then tosses it aside
into the creek-
ripples transpire
in his mind.
“Why spare this evil man?
Don’t you see, he’ll ravish another.
Could be your sister.
Could be your mother.
Then you’ll wish
I had done it.
Or maybe you enjoyed it.”

In the morning she stood
young and tough
exhaustion lingering in in the corners of her eyes.

It was early
The sun had began its jouney 
rising in the distance
dawn echoed across the horizon 

she was ready
the day was new 
and in a way so was she 

Renewed yet again from the salvation of sleep
she was ready for anything. 

You said for me to please take your wife,
Where would you like me to take her?

You once shot an elephant in your pajamas,
What kind of camera did you use?

You asked the waiter what that fly is doing in your soup,
Maybe you should ask the fly.

You point out that the last two jokes are really from famous two-liners,
OK, I’ll keep my day gig.

Happy now?

an otter slithers into the sparkling
bay & in Pensacola
a surfer spots a shimmer
in hot white sand & plucks
out a sleek gold watch with long
hushed gears. At this hour

my neighbor Reena, a hardcore
biker, swerves & misses an 18
wheeler. Someone in Duluth
gets a new liver & somewhere
a good year for soybeans
& snap peas.  Stay positive

my grandmother – gone
for two decades now – said & I
try. I talk to her, though
it’s really just speaking to air
& beach glass. Yesterday wind
on my face like a peignoir

& I remembered Jamie,
how he hung himself in the dark
green woods with a rope slung
together with silk
neckties. It’s the dread
& pain, he scribbled with a purple

crayon on lined paper. Jamie,
I pretend we’re at the bar,
jabbering & dancing. I tell you
about the good things that come
when I least expect, how
I’ve learned to remember them

more than the agonies. At this
hour my neighbor Julie scores a $500
scratch-off & wild
roses are having a bountiful
June. Remember Leroy? They gave him two
months to live, but he’s up to six.

Dreaming
of more than ten dollars a day.

Denied 
one of the three slots allotted at the consulate for 300 seeking asylum.

Deciding
to first carry your daughter across the river, then go back for your wife.

Devastated
when your two-year-old follows you back into the water.

Desperate,
grabbing for your child, reaching her but losing your footing and being wrested downstream.

Dragged 
close, tucking her in your shirt to keep her from drifting away in the current.

Dangling,
Draped
her arm around your neck, clutching close and tight in those last moments as the dream

Drowned.

Hosana, Savior.
Save us from the Roman Rule. 
Save us from ourselves.

19.6.26 (the bad nights)

Its 5am & I’ve been sip slipping
since noon, only respite was seeing
Toy Story 4 on discount tuesday;
too uncomfortable to crack
open the gas-station malt liquor
in my backpack around so many
children of summer.

I watch plane crash investigations
on Youtube, while thinking about slivers
from our trip to Barcalona, two years ago.
They both have so many to choose from,
each one makes me never want to take
my feet-tethering-heart off the ground,
yet I’m glued to the bad recreations.

There’s alot of things I want to do
at 5am, except sleeping before work:

            I want to go to Singapore now,
            after watching with Evan W. a vlog
            about a British man taking his choppy,
            balding hair and his girlfriend there;

            I want to ask who the we is on
            your social media posts, cause
            there is someone behind that lens,
            whose eye knows the right angles;

            I want to drive to Kroger and get
            the apple cider vinegar needed to kill
            gnats that breed in trash bins, cause
            it takes longer to fill the trash now;

            I want to rehang the pictures frames,
            so they’re no longer centered around
            silhouettes of missing furniture.

Being four days out from
the shortest night of the year,
the pre-dawn blues are filtering
through blinds when I take my nap.
   

The weather is cloudy
in my bedroom.
I bury my head under my pillow
to smooth the wrinkles on your face
I close my eyes again, again, again, again,
but you are still screaming over useless things.

It is still the same, the same, the same, the same.

Where is the air?
Why is it so hard to breathe. 

Downsizing is a greater challenge
than shedding pounds
cooking pots
or partners.