Posts for June 7, 2022 (page 2)

Category
Poem

Breakfast with Dad

Stumble out of bed and follow fresh brewed MJB coffee wafting down the hall from the dining room table
Messy hair, sleepy eyes, I soft shuffle my way in slippered feet
Daddy smiles at the head of the table
Low lights gently warm the room with an early morning fresh start feel
Hush and safety hum, there are no words to say
I pour myself a cup of Joe and watch the morning ritual roll
Dad’s chunky coffee cup held firmly in his strong steady hands
A full cup of Joe, milk, sugar and post toasties still crunchy as they make their satisfying dive one spoonful at a time
Slices of Sweet Colombo French tanned to a golden brown
the oven door kept ajar to mind a watchful eye
Slice by slice each one pulled from the oven on a hot fly just in time
Stiff cubes of Challenge Butter patiently wait to pat each warmed face
Sweet morning ritual gently rocks us into a brand new day


Category
Poem

Submarine

My fingernails have been
splitting lately I
think from
the weight of the
secrets they
have been smothering so
tightly and then
of course
the ever-present
gripping to the solid concrete
walls of daily
life by which time is
marked until one day in
June the slant of
the sun is
too much and cracks give
way to flood the
swimming pool with gray
street water
churning what was
suspended algae my
legs entangled and bound by
tickling fronds until
the bubbles are
quieted the
darting eyes
effortless and blank.


Category
Poem

Exit, Stage Left

can’t imagine my life
as a hitchhiker on the interstate
ribbons of asphalt
fast food, fast gas
the only signs
of our
culture


Category
Poem

Ache

I laid on the floor
and watched over an hour
of old band footage
that my friend uploaded
to the cloud before
the DVDs degraded. 
 
I recognized the person
in the video, could even
imitate him if we played
a reunion show, but
it’s not me, hasn’t been
for quite a while. 
 
When I finally stood up,
my whole body ached. 

Category
Poem

What Now?

Back and fourth,

Hot and cold.

Jesus Christ,

I’ve gotten so old.

 

Two steps forward

Is always three steps back.

I never created a plan of attack.

 

18 was supposed to be the limit.

I’m still here, just not in spirit.


Category
Poem

Gender Is A D***

Gender is a dick.
Now bear with me,
I don’t mean it in a bad way.
I mean it as gender is elusive,
Gender is tricky.
Maybe with my words I should be more picky,
But that’s not the point.
The point is
Gender is something I cannot even hope to understand.

Maybe gender is a universe,
And within it we are all stars.
Or maybe gender is an ocean,
Not quite the Dead Sea where everything floats.
And not quite everywhere else where everything sinks,
But somewhere in between,
And within it we are all jellyfish,
Trying to string together a coherent stream of conciousness
That somehow makes sense.

And-see?
It’s getting away from me.
I used to think gender was a binary,
Male, female, penis, vagina,
Everything coincides so we all fit into this dichotomy,
But that leaves no room for Alex,
Who is sometimes Alex and sometimes Cassandra,
Or Sasha who is both at once,
Or me, who lays claim to no gender at all.

There is one thing I do know as fact
Pronouns are not a privilege
They are a right
And we should respect them.

They, them, their;
Single gender nonspecific pronouns
I’m making a gift for my friend. They’ll be so excited!
Their parents gave them a new computer for Christmas.

She, her, hers;
No longer will I suffer in silence as those I care for most
Call me something I am not
I am not a girl
I am nonbinary
I know it makes no sense to you
But if you just listen
You might see how to
Escape the past tense
And start living in the future with me.

No longer will we stay quiet
Duct tape over mouths as we are tucked behind closet doors
Buried beneath accusations of
Transtrender
Genderspecial
Just pretending
No longer will we stay silent
The wrong pronouns whipping our bodies
Into submission.

It
Is not a pronoun
Fag
Is not a compliment

You sit in the audience groaning
When will this queer shut up, go home
Isn’t it enough that we acknowledged your existence?
But you don’t
I cannot count the times I have been misgendered
I cannot count the times I wanted to speak up but didn’t,
Knowing I would not be taken seriously.

Now I will not be silent until there are no more stories of
School yard oppression,
Trans suicides caused by a “lesson”.

I will scream myself hoarse until
Trans women can walk the streets in safety and
Bathroom means bathroom not
Execution.
Remember this
As we are forgotten by our cis siblings
As we are told we don’t belong
To the community we established
As we are told we don’t exist.
As you, the person reading this,
Realize your world isn’t as simple as it initially seemed.


Category
Poem

The Ballerina

A little ballerina poses, hands folded
over crossed legs,
demure smile frozen in glossy frame.
Tulle tutu fizzes around her rosy leotard,
her hair combed flat, tamed
with a carnation ribbon,
the picture of elegance.

Contrary to the staged photo,
I was never a perfect prima donna.
Barbies collected dust in my closet,
piled haphazardly like rubble in the aftermath of a hurricane,
their arms twisted, flaxen locks
tangled beyond the power of plastic hairbrushes.  
They were no pageant queens.
Stuffed animals sprouted from every spare corner,
making my room a jungle of wild beasts.
My younger self scoffed at princess stories
and true love’s kiss;
Lilo and Stitch was the background to my days.
I guess I saw myself in the quirky girl
who fed fish peanut butter sandwiches
and found friendship with a mischeivous blue alien.

I’m still not a ballerina.
My dance moves belong to a blooper reel.
I still refuse to “sit like a lady”,
and I chortle at cringeworthy jokes shared among friends.
I’m awkward, weird , and far from graceful,
but I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Category
Poem

driving (at) 55

Older 
eyes get the blame
for my anxiety
when it’s other people that I
don’t trust


Category
Poem

One-Eighth of a Lick

I can play one-eighth of a lick on my mandolin.
At least I used to could.  

Standing in another’s wake too long
robs the heart of song
 

First blows shamed my mountain speech
shaped by ridge and mist, no air for difference.  

I hurried, a woman woven in wrong tradition
to calm a burning storm.    

Standing in another’s wake too long
robs the heart of song
 

One blue-black night firefly-light
pinwheeled to my heart.  

I breathed bone-deep and pressed
into that whorl, fingerprint of my soul  

and went a seeking along wild-rose slope
for the seam of me, a skin natural and safe.  

I learned to dig, really dig in a world grown hot.
I filled my pockets with heart-shaped stones  

from Honey Creek’s tumbling flow where black bears roam
and found I had me all along.  

Breaking free, listing left, right side upside down,
finding a beat at a time.  

And the rocks, like baby teeth cut on my journey
line my window sills.  

I pick up my mandolin again
and fly into the belly of a song    


Category
Poem

History

Name an event,
any event from history,
and I’ll name you a movie 
that will tell you how it all went down,
more or less.

Titanic? Titanic.
Pompeii? Pompeii.
Pearl Harbor? Pearl Harbor.
Along with others
bearing more creative names
and halfway accurate events.

And in a few more decades or so,
when enough of us are gone that
the facts have been forgotten,
a new generation will rush to watch
“Covid” and “Mass Shootings” and “Climate Change.”

The cycle continues 
like clockwork throughout history,
until the day the last story tells itself,
making sure no one is left behind
to twist it,
or to listen.