Posts for June 8, 2022 (page 4)

Category
Poem

And in the End

Lovers on the beach that night,

whisper-giggling, holding hands,

ignored you, just a drunken shadow

propped against the seawall. 

They only wanted interruption-free

cuddles, cunnilingus, coitus

on a blanket before the air cooled. 

This is not unknown in youth. 

 

It wouldn’t have mattered:

You were already poisoned, dead

or close enough to be too late

for some stranger’s ministrations. 

You couldn’t name yourself, couldn’t

tell how you came to not be, or why

you came to the seashore to find out. 

This is a result of dying unseen. 

 

Seventy-four years are buried, and still

nobody has identified you, nobody

has explained or excused your corpse. 

And no one has come in frantic tears

to ask were you seen, where you are:

Not a wife, a son, a lover hoping

it was not her husband who sinned. 

This is the truest, saddest mystery. 


Category
Poem

Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

I am different from you and I will not be ignored.

Are you uncomfortable yet?

I have fought for every scrap of my soul,
I fight for the land I stand on.
I bleed into the soil every day.
If my heart grows green and verdant,
It was watered with my tears
And paid for with torn strips of myself.

This is how it feels:
It feels like I am nothing, nothing,
Nothing but what you want from me.
It feels like I throw myself against the bars everyday
To mold this form into something I want to live in
Something I can look at
Something I can wear and walk and talk and speak
And not feel dirty
While all around me you stand and mutter,
Wide eyes and anxious hands,
And offer nothing.

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Give my back myself.
My soul is not your banner.
My soul is not proof of your tolerance and acceptance
I am not your pet project
And I am not here for your benefit.
I am uncomfortable with being gendered
Near-all of the time
I ache and itch through my own skin
And I have longed to tear it open
And destroy every last traitorous chromosome.

Every structure on this planet
Tells me I don’t exist,
And winds the gag of shame
One
Notch
Tighter.
Every
“Hard change to make”
And
“Takes practice”
And
“Just a slip”
Adds a link to the ponderous chain of guilt
That shoves me away from correcting people.
Every person I love is part of my cage.
Everything you have learned is wrong,
The problem is not the children,
The problem is the adults. 

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Listen to me
Because I need you
And I have to make you understand.
Listen and keep listening.
Tear your ears open and make this your problem.
My sisters are beaten, raped, and murdered.
This is my family, this is me.
My brothers are scorned, abused, and desperate.
This is my family, this is me.
Every hand on them is a hand on me.
All of us are in love with death.
Half of us will seek him.
This is your problem.
Listen to us.

Don’t recoil from our rage.
We have reason to be angry
And you can handle it.
Don’t turn from our tragedies.
They are yours
And the whole human race’s.
We have to remind each other everyday that
We are real
And we are worth saving.
We are clinging to our humanity
With everything we have.
Are you uncomfortable yet?


Category
Poem

other days

one step, one day
closer to something new
yet of course
an interruption
a message from yesterday, last week, a while ago
reminder that I’m still here despite not being so
second verse is not the same as
     is it still the same song though?
I haven’t quite convinced myself otherwise and there are days
thankfully there are other days as well

there will be days like tomorrow
until there are not and that’s when I’ll know
all is well and I am
moving


Category
Poem

layover haiku

gonna make this short
nothing cool in this airport 
flight leaves in one hour


Category
Poem

Time

Time is now.
Time was yesterday.
Time will be tomorrow. 

It’s all about the timing.  

Now is yesterday, today and tomorrow.

When the clock stops,
Will time come to a halt?

Will it march on,
When no one keeps it?


Category
Poem

Blurry Photo

Once there was a picture,
Placed upon the wall.
It was blurry, and unrecognizable,
But someone framed it in gold.
There were a thousand perfect photos
Placed beside it,
And it was backed by the cleanest white,
But it was placed there with pride.
Then so many years later
The house was in disrepair,
And all the other photos are still in their spots,
Displayed with pride upon the wall,
Cracked and broken, unrecognizable.
Alongside the blurry photo,
Which still sits in perfect condition.


Category
Poem

Lucid Blue

Something stunning and prismatic swells in the lungs,

Works it’s way into the bloodstream,
Quick ride to the brain, in mother of pearl veins;
Fireflies dot the room intangibly,
Never quite pinned down like so many butterflies.
 
Something about this feels like pin-pricked fingers
Grasping a glass of ice water,
Under lucid thermonuclear blue skies.

Category
Poem

Peony Poem

Waiting for a cute but scary tiny prop plane
to take me to Vieques
the couple across from me is drinking
beer they hid in a waxy Coke cup
I try not to listen or look– they are
all over each other
she says: my mother is living her best life–like me
he says: my mother only cares about summer squash and peonies
I surprise myself:  I live for my peonies–I like your mom better.


Category
Poem

I’ll Tell You

I’ll tell you
If you really want to know.
But by then you’ll have known
It was a memory that is no longer true.

The past has a direction
I try my best to not inhibit
What’s best, but even my wallpaper is fake.
It won’t kill me but it will not last.

If I could only lie
I could say a memory equals time.
But if it does, it goes where we can’t be.
I say it hurts, otherwise it can’t still exist in the present.

I wonder why people would rather risk death, than to simply be alive.
A person must choose what they think is best,
To linger I’d even take a sinister sobriquet.


Category
Poem

Joy

My husband is an engine person
Cars, yard equipment, torque and force
Large, small, gas or electric
Chimes clanging in the wind
annoy him, but his 
old Camaro,
roaring and 
spewing?
JOY