Surprise
Surprise
I flip Picasso
calendar from May to June
The Young Ladies of
Avignon stretch, spread and pose
in front of my hazel eyes.
in the car, loud, proud Flat, sharp
mouth opened wide, hands beating time
To my left a Ranger Rover driver sneers
as I sing louder, “Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name,
oh yeah But what’s confusing you Is just the nature of my game”
I look in her direction and wonder
if she were the devil would I have sympathy?
When a page sits before me
I find both freedom and pain
In this vulnerability
that keeps me sane
The walls that trap me
Seem to keep closing in
on my heart ever so tightly
Too weary to defend
Will these filled pages
continue to save me?
Or finally defeated by the rages
that pinned me with fear
Perhaps I could use these walls
Like you used me
Mark words along these suffocating halls
Like you made your mark on me
And
Perhaps these walls,
Could be what finally sets me free
in living there is succumbing
unbearablities
I anointed birds with blood
pathetic things
my Christ figures in trees
Pontius on ground
who does not believe in god
bleed from the eyes
bleed from the ears
bleed from the nose
but cannot bleed from the mouth
they can’t understand your mouth blood
hot and ugly
die a most flighting death and you will be known
sleep melt drown
die a most fighting death and you will not be taken
someone will know you
but don’t wait
deny everything
but do not deny that.
he was a Tennessee Walker,
seventeen hands,
spirited and strong
he was my horse
as anyone else
who tried to saddle him
learned
he would meet me at the fence
as the sun rose behind him
and offer his face
to my hands
the light of the orange sun
me squinting in the light
i felt him with my hands
and rested my cheek on his nose
after we talked a bit about the
work for the day, i would rise
up on my tiptoes and whisper
in his ear
run, Kings Mountain, run
he would whinny and turn
away from me
and gallop toward
the yellowing star
the sound of his hooves in the grass
matching the beat in my breast
as i imagined myself
running with such abandon
unafraid
unstoppable
the world, it seemed to me,
bowed before this horse
making room for his dignity
yielding to his will
no apologies
no explanation
only this horse
and me
and this moment
we were free
