Mostly in talks with my sister
Do I realize
I’ve been chasing something of a ghost.
A ghost that I’ve managed to idolize
Most of my life.
A ghost that avoided me
In dire times of need.
A ghost that was devoid of all
But anger.
God,
That anger has seeped its way
Into my life,
And stained my very foundation.
Always lingering.
Ready to lunge.
But I guess that’s what a father does.
At least mine anyways.
The fickle resident of my skull
Sorting through storage,
I find treasures tucked
into crevices of boxes and totes
long-forgotten items once adored
trophies from pageants, graduation caps,
birthday cards, photos, autographed
newspapers and books.
Things my mamaw loved
dolls, Corelle dishes, those Pyrex baking pans
that held so many cobblers, and
big heavy bowls she used to mix cornbread.
We wade through years
making piles to keep and
piles to pass on to others who can use it
stirring up stories from memories
tucked between pages or
rolled up in rugs or
hugging a teddy bear who’d been there
through all those tough times.
I’m descended from a long line of wrinkled, worrying women. Women who over the generations have wondered: Am I good enough?Did I make the right choice?Will people like me? Women whose standard was perfection and superhuman emotional strength. It’s an undertow that can sabotage your life.
Lucky for me, I’m
A strong swimmer who knows
To swim cross-current.
LHM 2023
in my downtime i watch prison shows on television
is it safe to say television anymore now that all my broadcast content is streaming over the world wide web?
i broadcast a signal each night i face alone to the heavens
i hope someday my kin come
rescue me in my desperate need
i am lonely on this planet
I am good,
You say “all we have is time”
I relax and stop worrying
I take my time watching how you move your hands while you talk
When I wake up, I lay in bed a little while longer
You say you’ll be 30 minutes late so I wait and read a book
I stop and take in every color of every flower
I drive slow and appreciate every story written on each house
Oh, how all we have is time
You say “all we have is time”
But, I stress wondering how I’ll get everything done
I wake up grumpy because I missed my alarm
The whole day feels gone
I rush to plan something
And everyone’s late
Now we’ve wasted our time in the sun
I forget to go visit my dad
And now I feel like I’m an awful daughter
I yell at you because you missed the exit
Oh… all we have is time
A kiss once given is never lost – Italian Proverb
Night breaks
Still
Cool
Slick
Black
Naked on my sheets a breeze
summons me to listen and taste
evening air.
The moon lingers…
I know his kiss.
*Kisses everywhere
