untitled
unearthed &discovered
she had to run away
her mission
to witness
to see beyond
the veil
she was born
to recover love
especially from places
where
it was hidden
in blood
first the fire
Took I-75 South then North. This,
I call my nature walk. Clouds threatened
rain. The trees: like so much broccoli
against a gray colander, steaming
in the humid June Sunday. I come home
to myself more and more every day now–
I nurse myself with linen bandages,
cotton squares: folded-down half moons,
antibiotics and cigarettes. Their itch
soothes my skin
more and more
every day now, too.
Cross the line
No no, this way.
You’re a pawn, you can only move this way.
Oh, so the pawn wants to be a queen now?
Should’ve thought about that
before they shaved you down to the little piece of wood you are now.
Never again could you be tall like her.
Really?
That’s the move you want to make?
Okay…I won’t stop you.
Well that you’ve backed yourself into a corner, you’ll just get taken
and I’ll replace you with another, less stupid, pawn.
Stop crying,
you know I didn’t mean it.
I’m hard on you cause I love you.
I’ll save you this time but be more careful in the future, alright?
You can stop crying now…
I said stop crying.
You stepped out
Of your gray car
Red curls in the wind
With my heart in my throat
I remember clearly
I needed no kiss
To seal my fate
I would have taken
Your hand
Trusted your lead
On that very day
If I had waited
Would we still
Have made it here?
I used to wonder what it might be like to move far away
To leave these hills behind for a city, a beach, anywhere
I think we all dream like that when we’re growing up
Always assuming that things will be better out there
As I got older I realized that the world is big, and that
There is so much I want to see, but I also realized that
This is the place where I want to be most in the world
Here among ancient mountains and towering old trees
Where my family has been for generations now, on this
Old tract of forested farm land, quiet and slow always
There really is jsut no place like home, is there?
my parents didn’t teach me how to cut my toenails or say no to people.
this girl I’m no longer friends with taught me at summer camp.
we were going into seventh grade in the fall
and she left the camp early.
she missed home.
I had a really hard time at camp the whole time and finally, the last day, I had a nice time and made friends.
I didn’t want to go.
Nowadays, I don’t ever have to go home if I don’t want to.
I learned to say no from my therapists and friends, like
when I don’t want to go to a family function, when I don’t want to talk about a certain topic, or
when I don’t want to kiss someone.
My parents didn’t teach me to take care of myself.
they asked me to bow, pray, and ask for blessings at the feet of the Lord and my grandparents
and any other adults they held in high esteem.
Now I can pamper my own feet. (and will!)
