You have chosen to escape to the woods

To escape the feral desires you inject yourself into of every cavern of humankind 

Hoping to find respite from your lingering thoughts

The creeping feeling of disgust that locks adhesions into your shoulders

Sleep never finds you as your heavy, hot limbs

Fumble aimlessly within the cocoon of misery laid upon your bed

Early morning rises after you

Sinking feet into a creek that slaps around your tender ankles

Hoping pleasure can find you

Or you it

Pleasure not from touch that is skin to skin

But from some other vessel far greater than your own wants

The contention of your needs pulls heavy on your heart

As if it rips, shattering your sternum, ribs cracking like eggshells

Falling into the sandy water around your feet

You dropping into the murky mess you’ve made

Knees heavy against rocks, iron laced water swirling under palms

The sensations felt as you lay your body into the water

As if Mother Earth is now your succubus

Pulling out from your low belly a guttural heave of letting go

A concubine that carries from you all your pain, anguish, sorrow, and shame

Though she carries she never holds just like the water beneath you

Spilling out into the darkness below, all swirling around, to never see again

The swelling of lust so heavy to burst through your middle

Your body like a heavy mound of pulsating friction and fire

That rolls clumsily with and through the smalls waves

A leak sprung of your manhood pathetically lost

Spirits of the trees and the wind song of the dead

Laughing at your disgrace while watching with eager eyes

Even in your solitude you can’t escape it

Forever bound to the want of releasing yourself

Never able to look in upon yourself

To be with all that you actually are

Thinking if you let this part go you’ll never need to feel connection

Your purpose never firm just like your loose morals

You will never love another because you have nothing to love about yourself