I had to have my mom tuck me in every night as a child

Sleep has always been so hard for me

So she obliged

I remember whenever my parents turned off the TV and started padding down the hall

Anxiety would rise in my throat

I remember one time staring at the ceiling so long that the sun rose and I heard the whirring of my mom’s hairdryer

Most of the time, I would sleep on the couch

I had a dream there once that I walked right into the ocean

I woke up holding my breath

I don’t hold my breath anymore

Now I tuck myself in