The Poem Isn’t a Poem, It’s Just Bad Jokes for a Standup Comedy Show
What do you call
a lesbian situationship?
Your middle school best friend!
TOTALLY unrelated, but it seems
the best place to find the gays
is your local Catholic church festival.
I know! You wouldn’t think they’d be there!
But they just! Keep! Coming!
Out!
More fun facts, guys!
“Not now” is apparently
the wrong response
when your stalker asks if this is
“a good time to talk”.
I know. I know.
I know. I know.
Stick around for more nuggets of wisdom!
And, um, while you’re at it,
somebody fill my mouth.
Fill in my mouth.
Whatever.
Fill in my mouth.
Whatever.
In conclusion,
I just want the sapphics to know:
I am a gold star lesbian!
Oh, the applause! Thank you! Yeah!
I’ve only ever been sexually assaulted
by women.
When do they give out stickers?