“Don’t open the door to heaven

if I can’t come in.”
            —Jeannie Seely
 
Don’t make my heart leap
and shudder at odd hours:
my own deep and curmudgeonly
love—wingbroke brain,
the oak’s green canopy spooling
and unspooling its branches.
The long o
in ago 
sings to me now, low.
So I’m slow to answer others, woe
to answer myself.
So don’t wait up. I don’t regret
a single lucky cigarette
I turned over and saved and smoked.
The table’s turned. And I’m—
not answering.