Dear White Space
For Lisa
You’re not just some Grand Canyon between words
You’re an o p e n window when lilacs are blooming
The pause before lighting a cigarette in a dark alley
You’re the smell of dough r i s i n g
The inhale at the top before the roller coaster
plummets
You’re the fat comma
The snoozy cat stretching in the afternoon sun
Jason Momoa on the eyes
A poet’s broody bauble
The rainbow’s secret self
13 thoughts on "Dear White Space"
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“The pause before lighting a cigarette in a dark alley ” I could see this image with a flick of bright light a moment later. Very carefully crafted, and I think Lisa will be breathless.
Great title. I laughed out loud when I got to “Jason Momoa on the eyes.” He’s definitely a handsome dude.
the cigarette in the dark alley…….
great visual structure to reinforce the theme!
The form is so effective here, nicely done. Love the snoozy cat image as well!
Aaahhh-eeeee! Sylvia. You’ve knocked this one out of the park! Love your layout and enjambment. Such wonderful sensory details, and you just had to throw in Jason Mamoa on the eyes. LOL Great word choices.
This is such an awesome example of “all the right words, and only the right words, in exactly the right order.” No flotsam or jetsam. Every word earns its keep. Well done!!! Thank you for sharing this.
the poem breathes with enticing possibilities
Oh, this is entrancing, Sylvia! I hear echoes of the LexPoMo former smoker’s poem in that alleyway. This is a superb list of those liminal moments that hold so much promise. (And everything else the others have said.)
I absolutely love this one! Each line leads to an adventure. Gotta love that Jason Momoa reference. 😎
“You’re an open window when lilacs are blooming.”
I could retype the entire poem. All of it touches the senses.
Okay, so I have a confession. I did not know who Jason Momoa is, but thank you very much, I looked him up and I did feel that white space, that aha pause.
Poetry can be very informative.
Love the title , the homage to white space and the shape and words that create it, especially the stark visual in “The pause before lighting a cigarette in a dark alley “and “You’re the smell of dough/ r i s i n g The inhale at the top before the roller coaster /plummets.
A delight of descriptions
and besides that, the way
it appears on the page is
wonderful
Great lines and images. Absolutely beautiful!