I feel it when it switches

Leaning back and forth

Children on a swing

We never want to leave

This pattern

Spinning down the drain again

Singing my voice raw

Staring out the window

It’s a choice I make

Coming back again

Whenever you half heartedly apologize

Whenever you feel bad

Even though it’s never enough to motivate a change

I open my heart again

Wincing, waiting for you to break it

You claim you don’t see it

But how can you not notice the pain in my eyes

Look at me

At my tears

And try to say you did nothing wrong

You never meet my gaze when I’m like this

Only for shallow conversations

And discussions about theology

I don’t know

If I can keep going

This carousel

Spins too much