Late at night
when shadows reign

My glasses off
a hovering blur

Face brought close
to clarity found

Threat detected
defenses raised

Have you ever been frightened by a spider?

Eight black arms fanned out for battle
Eight black arms saying don’t think twice
Imagine
Eight black arms closing in around you
an envelope of death
a tomb of silk

But would you say you have a fear of spiders?

I might flinch but my hands still crush
I might scream but my shoe wins out
I might never lose but another will fold
panicked paralyzed hyperventilating nausea

Irrational?
You claim you understand 
yet then you turn around 
to say something like

What’s the worst that could happen?
She says no?

Yes! Exactly that!
Except you and I have different
definitions of ‘worst’
It’s one thing to occasionally get yourself bitten
Another to always get caught in the webbing

It’s the kind of thing that makes you not want to try
The next pretty girl’s gonna walk on by
And you’re just gonna drain the rest of your drink
thinking about dreaming of what it’s like to fly

Then when you do try, conversation dies
but you’re still enwrapped in all her silks
What could I have said? What could I have done?
How could I improve? How can I shine
brighter?

Only there’s never an answer
You cut your hair and nothing changes
You dress differently and nothing changes
You brush your teeth and nothing changes
You follow advice and nothing
changes

And people
don’t
get that

For one
a rejection is a bitter wound to lick
for another
it’s the thousandth cut

A venomous bite
injecting a slow
agonizing death.

Neurotoxins spread
a nervous system
shut down

Spine corroded 
insides liquefied 

Drank until
only husk remains

So does it finally make sense to you
now
why I might be afraid
of spiders?