Half‑Unpacked
I’m a book you opened,
read aloud and laughed at,
then slammed shut against the countertop—
spine cracked,
pages splayed like accusations.
You left the bed unmade,
sheets untucked,
socks unmatched,
clothes shoved half‑unpacked into the chest—
evidence I can’t fold away.
I reach—
trying to drag you out
from inside me.
You walk around wearing my smile
like a jacket you borrowed
and forgot to return—
while I am still here, unfolding.
19 thoughts on "Half‑Unpacked "
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like this introspection- wearing my smile, still here unfolding.
An interesting sort of grief and loss, when the person is still around, perhaps even still visible, but the reminders of what you’ll never get back are equally as visible. Love the juxtaposition of that violence in the first stanza with the book slamming and accusations against the quiet sadness of the last stanza with the “unfolding.”
Wow, I feel so understood. You nailed it. Thank you so much for always reading me with so much intention.
What L. said,
You nailed this expression of loss.
Shew! “pages splayed like accusations.” and “I reach—
trying to drag you out/from inside me.”
Shew. I love how you described the transactional nature of relation and clear image of “wearing my smile/like a jacket you borrowed…”
“I reach—
trying to drag you out
from inside me. ”
You write about the lingering presence so well.
Good lord, Jeremy, you just keep amazing me with your poems this month. You are a shining example of putting in the work—on your craft, on your yourself—and how it can pay off. It has paid massive dividends, including this poem.
Working on myself has indeed made my poems better. Thanks, Kevin!
This is superb! Love the line “like a jacket you borrowed and forgot to return”! Excellent!
Thank you so much Courtney!
So vulnerable and visceral. I agree with H.A.—that stanza is powerful. I feel the hurt in your need to drag this person out, out of you. This also feels like a continuation of your Endurance poems. . . .
My goal in these relationship poems has been to be vulnerable sans self-pity. I’m glad to know it is coming through as such. Thanks, Michele!
I agree with Michele that this definitely has the flavor of the Endurance poems! Wherever you think it fits, Jeremy, it’s a poem full of heart- Half Unpacked has such a nice weight to it!
I like how you weaved “book” nomenclature onto this poem a “story” about a broken relationship. All stanzas sing
Ouch. Thank you.
It’s the lingering that gets me, and the feeling that someone is moving forward without a thought that you’re back there still hurting. I really appreciate you for writing this.
I’m really happy it resonated so deeply with you Philip!
It’s a love poem. And love messy, chaotic, mixed up and half-unpacked. Nice one, Jeremy
“pages splayed like accusations” and “evidence I can’t fold away” were such great lines. So much going on and well written!