American sentence CVI
Heat shimmers over the rails, dusty devils dance, red iron dirt swirling.
30 thoughts on "American sentence CVI"
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Heat shimmers over the rails, dusty devils dance, red iron dirt swirling.
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Love this description of the scenery. It really does bring to mind red hues, almost like a movie set.
Thanks, L.!
Each phrase is sings to the senses. I love “red iron dirt”
Thanks Shaun. I was glad when red iron dirt swirled out!
Love that this ends with “swirling” = the word has movement to keep the poem alive after we finish reading.
Thanks Sylvia, for seeing that movement!
My POV is laying down beside the rails looking up, defeated. Nice write!
Awwww, thanks, Jeremy!
Thanks for taking us outside the train for a moment, giving enerfy to the movement you’ve created, the power to populate the inner life of the Sentences!
Thanks, Greg. Tricky to balance train interior/exterior/landscape/ and characters. Appreciate hearing it is working!
Yes! “…dusty devils dance, red iron dirt swirling.” Such a fabulous sentence, Pam!
Was hoping that dance would work, H.A.! 🙂
Catching up on the last four! Really great job carrying this along. This one pairs well with the last in painting a rugged scene.
Thanks for reading, Eric! Great to hear this one pairs well with the last. Trying to keep a good balance.
Love the perspective shift. Great sounds in this one too
Thanks, N.D.!
The devils are right at home here – “heat” and “red”
Thanks, Nancy!
Another great image!
Thanks, Linda!
When I read this aloud, I discovered how the rhythm of the sentence gained speed! Wonderful mimetic quality.
Thanks, Michele!
Pam, I grew up in a little town that had an actual depot and steam locomotives chugging through. I loved your dusty devils, so familiar.
I’m glad the dusty devils brought good memories, Larry.
I’m getting ready to post the next sentence using the steam that steam locomotives produced in a little different way.
A sensory sequel to your American Sentence that gave us the auditory experience of the train’s sounds. The visual of movement and colors swirls.
Thanks, Virginia!
I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Or at least you make me feel as if I have.
☺️
Oh the dusty devils dancing! Wonderful!
Thanks, Bill!