A fragment of my day 

Captured like a pictureless 
Photograph. Instead a small 
Paragraph, an insight to a moment
The moment i have spent the whole 
Day trying to figure out the emotion
That swept me away the most
 
The thing they get wrong about borderline 
Is the things they label as “bipolar behavior” 
My moods are a switchboard with a blind operator 
My moods are kentucky weather patterns 
My moods are a field of wildflowers 
 
I capture it. Fill out the sections I designed 
On the app I pay far too little for the big outcomes
I see. Mood, secondary emotions, hobbies, chores, 
Cognitive distortions, coping skills, detailed adjectives 
From the feelings wheel, connections made, a picture 
That best describes the moment 
 
Do i try to do this throughout the day 
Yes, and yes, and yes 
Notifications fly at my face 
Three times a day, I have it set 
To tell me something I already know 
Track my mood 
Get the data to make sense 
Of the nonsense of my brain 
Report back to the doctor
To the therapist 
To the logical part of my mind 
To sort the colors of faces 
On the calendar 
 
The thing they get wrong about borderline 
Is that it’s survivable 
It’s a terminal illness & i feel myself 
Dying more & more each day