oh, Canada….
If I’d spent time outside today,
If I’d spent time outside today,
When the fireflies are streaming from the mirey lawns
Like air bubbles from a kettle
That’s when we know summer’s arrived
With a sputtering train whistle’s
Barking whimper
A panther Goddess stalking
The white hot street
All while the shade and breeze
Are giving me goosebumps
Today the smoke is so thick oh god if you tilt your head just right you can trace the paths we’ve walked for us it’s five years of perfect circles the only action inaction we drew our curtains in permanent ink cursed the sun found no solace in silence but embraced it anyway sing of Centralia sing of the fire that never dies out sing of our arsonist his name romanticized and demonized in the same breath how the spark of a single match sets so many lives ablaze every morning now tastes of sulfur call him the Midas of Ashes remember him as Moloch I still lack the strength to forgive if I tell you my greatest fear is emptiness please don’t tell me that tomorrow too will be razed an eternity of cinders I’ve heard that a body sufficiently deprived of sustenance begins to feed on itself I wonder if there is similar process within the mind an ouroboros of thought all teeth and tongues of flame on days like today I am scorched earth footsteps in footsteps memory made solid something like sentience scattered and smouldering
I’m surprised to see the dying oak spout
green leaves–a full crown of new growth.
When they cut its branches–when they stacked
limb on limb down by the dumpster,
we thought it was a done thing. This culling
must have helped. From this, I have learned that
sometimes it’s prudent to prune away, to sheer
back, to defenestrate. Maybe there’s a chance–
but I have never been good at such economies.
At day’s end, I pile self onto self like pyre,
our own little mountain in the city’s middle.
Night falls–its promise, tomorrow’s new day.
It starts with a stretch in bed
one leg up and another down
point the toe
stretch the heel
ten times each
circle the ankle one way
and then the other way
loosen up those hips
one leg crossed in front
of one leg bent
both pushing the other
in opposite directions
bend over one bent leg
as the other stretches behind
sit up in this position
stand up, bend over a
supported outstretched leg
now do the other
bike up 5 steep hills
ride 4 miles to work
swim 20 minutes freestyle
10 minutes back strokes
lift weights on 6 machines
Melt on the floor 45 minutes
Roll up from lying flat on floor
front plank, side plank,
squat, push-up, clam shell,
down dog ride 4 miles home
The most oppressive silence happens after you’ve said the wrong thing and then you have to sit and wait for the haze to pass. I’ve gotten familiar with this form of pollution lately. Maybe this is what dying of lung disease feels like. I am probably dead now. I probably died all those other times too.
Fuck it, breathe it in