I let smoke smoke fill my lungs,
and then I chase it out with a stiff drink.
Hoping that the combination will rid me of all my guilt and misery.
But as the night progresses,
Things turn inside of me.
Reminding me
That everything that torments me
Is under lock and key
Welled up inside of me.
With an eagerness to keep it in,
I’ll drink and smoke again.
But I always take it too far.
This day, I’m through with dreams. I want
to wake as just a point of light, my mind as still
as a bud still tight on the branch. Let me
be through with want, that blaze that calls me
more than need, through with rage and blue
and dark. Blank chill of dawn, I want a blank,
oh let me hear the lilt of light as it moves on.
Let be, let be be more than seem, let words
be still. Oh, this bright day, I wake, I sing,
I’m through (I think) with dreams.
“Do you think the dictionary ever says to itself I’ve got these words that mean completely different things inside myself and it’s tearing me apart?” – Dean Young “Selected Recent and New Errors”
Aa A: word’s a bridge between worlds; a dictionary abbreviates: represents the full alphabet: in the order fixed by custom. Elementary principles of altitude: above sea level, above the horizon, a high position or rank aroma: characteristic odor of an ass: chiefly British.
Bb Bat: a stout wooden stick, having membraneous wings, to wink at a boy: male child, informal fellow, mild exclamation break: crack, pierce, or penetrate, escape from bright: shining dyestuff full of promise, intelligent bulb: stem of the onion or tulip, incandescent.
Cc Call: cry out, summon, label call girl: hired by telephone cheap: worth more than the price cherub: angel with a chubby, rosy face.
Dd Deliver: from evil, give birth, utter, secure votes for Democratic-Republican Party: founded by Thomas Jefferson dues: payable immediately for membership in dusky: dark, gloomy dyad: divalent atom or radical pair.
Ee Echo: in imitation of a sympathetic response eddying: against the main current, as in education: the act or the field of electromagnets: with a current-carrying enginery: machinery or instruments of English: the spin given with a sharp twist.
Ff Feel: touch with caution, guided by fire: that releases heat or light flick: a quick touch or motion picture flop: plop, flap flush: from fever, embarrassment, rapid gush.
Gg Gather: into one place, apprehend, attract glares: angry stares, intense and blinding guided missiles: also called robot bombs gushes: of tears gusts: of rage.
Hh Heretics: dissent from the dogma of the hive: a place swarming with honeyed: ingratiating, sugary, dulcet horseshit: vulgar nonessential nonsense.
Ii I: elliptically understood identify: with another or imagine: picture incandescence: a hot object.
Jj Jack: an ordinary man, a sailor jaded: wearied, spiritless, not sated, in jams: fetches his instrument jangling: with little bells, the mingled din of voices jilted: abruptly rejected.
Kk Kisses: brushes against lips, chocolate confections kneejerk: sudden, involuntary Kyrie eleisons: prayers with musical settings, Supreme Authority show mercy.
Ll Larvae: wingless, wormlike before metamorphosis living: currently active loving: experiencing desire or tenderness.
Mm Mania: intense desire or enthusiasm, rapidly changing ideas and meaningful: significant meaninglessness: senseless music: sounds, aesthetically pleasing.
Nn News: unusual or notable, previously unknown nocturnal: flowers open the night as certain animals nose: find out by smell, nuzzle, sniff in a meddlesome way.
Oo O: in poetry and prayer, variant of oh: used to express surprise, fear, anger, pain, or OH: Ohio, state of the United States, Iroquois ohiyo, “grand river.”
Pp Peter: the Hermit preacher, the first piper: plays on a pipe, installs plumbing picks: a tune on his guitar, a pointed instrument, with a pepper: to season to make lively and vivid.
Qq Queens: chess pieces able to move in any direction, fertile bees quivering: shaking, trembling, vibrating.
Rr Remember: to think again of the faculty reports: formal accounts or gossip, explosive noises researched: studied to seek out, to search again revenge: to inflict punishment, avenge rhythms: of the tides, of the heart, beat heavy stress.
Ss Save: from the wages of scholarship: awarded to a student by a school: a large group swimming together screwing: making a mess of sexual intercourse, screw threads coiling like a sow’s tail.
Tt Tap: a rap with rhythm, a light click or blow this: thing nearby in space, time, or thought thread: twisted together, to wind through a course threatened: as dark skies threaten rain.
Uu Ugliness: repulsive, reprehensible, ominous unblinking: without emotions unblushing: without shame unbound: freed from shackles, released upward: toward a higher place upwind: from which the wind blows.
Vv Vagabond: roaming tramp vamps: improvises tunes, seduces in the manner of a vampire: reanimated at night to suck vernal: fresh, young virgins: in a pure or natural state, not processed or refined.
Ww Wait: in one spot until whatever: you wish for blows across whatever you wonder: feeling curiosity or awe at the world: in motion.
Xx X: the signature of an illiterate person xenophobic: unduly fearful of strangers, as reflected in Xeroxes: copies made to reproduce x-rated: explicit x-rays: exact nature not known.
Yy Yammer: for change in a clamorous tone yawp: utter a sharp bark yeah: yeah yeah yelp: in pain or surprise yowl: howl, wail.
Zz Zany: extravagant outlandish strangeness zaps: with heavy firepower, strafes or bombards a zebra: wild ass Zen: enlightenment attained through zeugma: for example The businessman left in high spirits and a Cadillac zig-zagging: in alternating directions, such sharp turns.
I. Bound
Right now
old times open
a halo
baiting. Recall
a straight line
straight jacket.
II. Breezy
Right now
old times open
70’s pantone
amnesty. Flashback
a curvilinear
pier.
hazy sun sparkles an apocalyptic glow across grass that crunches underfoot as i go check the bird box for spring hatchlings too soon grown for this violent world, this cess of rhythms that seethe breathy dares to whom all these presents shall come, greetings, in dulci jubilo, until the sweet recompense of our reward stays the hand of the axeman so that we may once again strive against each other seeking fortune and glory and that ill promise of capital gain which serves our dreamy desire, the American dream, that nest coddling our young minds in our house shut out from the hazy sun of this reality
Shadows stretch long
in dessicated wasteland
yet still you find a way
to creep up on me
The conversation mute
the number blocked
I was never supposed to hear from you again
then a chance discovery
deep in cell phone memory
has all my portcullises descending
It is your reply to my last
door-slamming censure
allowed through by an unknown feature
I set the phone down
not quite ready for this
There’s so much in my life to be made right first
The message is a blade
to be run through the soul
because I don’t trust you to have learned God’s voice
but if He has a plan
still for you and I
I’ll have to pull back the curtains from your mind
Devils of Sorrow and Malice
may have their way with me now
yet it is you who towers over all in the distance
for my own peace of mind
I must be open to you again
even if today the message gets left on unread
Shadows stretch long
in dessicated wasteland
and I am terrified
of the dark of you
fast approaching
I.
Tonight’s moon is full and nicotine stained,
our bodies electric like Whitman’s words.
a sparkling moving target.
There is room here for the dreaming.
Flowers so wild they dare not be named.
Soon the heat will reach dangerous proportions.
The roof will not shelter us as it once did.
There comes a time with the abstract holds no purpose.
We saw the end of the sun some time ago,
but that hasn’t stopped us.
Even the beans, joined forces with confetti,
will rejoice in an unknown dead language,
dreaming of sudden salvation,
dark eyes shining.
II.
Sometimes the elegies you never write will kill you—
a sudden knocking,
the bell that sounds for each of us.
It’s been years since the dead heard any song.
Sometimes I hear a train and all I hear are
howls like cold wind that sends shivers down the neck.
I want to rage until I am nothing,
bursting with joy to be that sad,
ready to take in everything.
I would nest in the brambles,
shadows playing a song just for me.
Survival sometimes means you hunker down and hold real still.
To great each day with our heads above our haunting—
an equation for forgiveness suddenly solved.
II.
We make our way home crookedly,
tread down the black sidewalks like generations before,
singing of the streets we cannot walk,
stumbling over the words like it’s the last song we know.
When a witch hands you a jar of moon water you take it and you use it
This is what we are—each other.
And the world is a poem and we are all part of it.
I’m listening, I’m listening
and I will follow your voice.
With lines by most of these poets, and apologies to those whose names or words I left out! Bree, Ralph LaCharity, Joshua Lew McDermott, Eric Scott Sutherland, Jason Baldinger, Jim Palmarini, Jeff Weddle, Ryn Ane Griseto, Damian Rucci, John Burroughs, Jonathan S Baker, Juliet Cook, Tohm Bakelas, Amelia Christine Matus, Chad M. Horn, Kerry Trautman, Bob Ernst, Mark Widrlechner, Michael Grover, Chandra Alderman, Dean McClain, Jason Hardung, Scott Laudati
beams of sunshine
a clear blue sky
the loveliest of days
thankful I can claim a respite
I am allowed a day, an hour or two
to not worry over later or tomorrow or next week
much less the distant future
what a concept
to be off
unplugged
these odd words that now describe us when we’re simply enjoying a Saturday
the stuff of summer
joy
