I don’t know
about you but
when I was a kid
no one ever told
me to watch
out for myself
I mean,
of course…
they told me to
watch out
for myself
they said
things
like
don’t let a muth-
fucka get too
close
or
always keep
a lil change
in ya pocket
even
neva leave yo
drink
by itself
fools love
to slip girls
mickey’s
So yea,
I was warned
but now at this
big ole age
it would have
been nice
to know they
literally
meant
to watch out
for
MY SELF!
Tan, fit lifeguards, young men
red suits and sunglasses
high above a world of childhood glee
loud, insistent beat of AM radio
red suits and sunglasses
screams, splashes and whistles
loud, insistent beat of AM radio
long summer afternoons at the pool
Screams, splashes and whistles
Parents teaching children to swim
long summer afternoons at the pool
sun beating down, browning skin.
Parents teaching children to swim
smell of coconut and clorine
sun beating down, browning skin.
Teenage girls flirting with boys
smell of coconut and clorine
hot concrete burning feet
Teenage girls flirting with boys
Tan, fit lifeguards, young men.
She’s the life of parties she never attended
Mom, first and always
who taught me how to read,
taught by example that time
spent with books is never wasted,
taught me that ladies don’t swear
unless circumstances warrant it.
Maggie, who showed me
that grown-ups can be silly
and fun, who took me with her
to the college classes she taught,
who listened as if my opinions mattered,
who opened her library of poets to me.
Aunt Ann, who reveled in her
international life, whose example
opened the world to me, who
showed me impulse isn’t always bad
when she climbed a tree at fifty
just because she wanted to.
Sister, younger than me, who calls
me for advice but is so much wiser
than me in so many ways. She
listens, always, when I gripe
but only offers advice
when I ask.
sometimes i want to indulge in my emotions
bathe in them
get lost in them
but on most days i find myself
tucking them back becoming numb
unintentionally locking them away
behind my smile
yet in my mind they are plotted out so deliciously
waiting to be pecked apart like a buffet
by me & the masses
i overanalyze my emotions, undermine them
let others peck at them like frenzied birds when they come out
unedited & wiggling around like hopeless worms on the hot pavement
She loves my low voice
And that i’m pro choice
Why so serious
Do you get no joy ?
Leave the Tolstoy
For the Dostoyevsky
Or the Chekov
Or the Nabokov
Skatin on this shit
Like Gretzky
Goals i’m checkin off
Sippin soursop
When I go get my shine box
I go Joe Pesci
I shine off the top
When I freestyle
Or just from losin my hair
All about if you
Choosin to care
Just wanna see ya smile
The way you move it aint fair
Dreams in a file
Like leaves in a pile
Blew through the air
Cant grieve all my life
For shock value
They’ll send you to the chair
Kind of Blue out the player
In a Sentimental Mood
Like Duke
Ellington
Dont hit my cell again
Im in an instrumental mood
Im tryna get loose
Like Snoop
off the gin and juice
Get in the groove
Like you on the 1’s and 2’s
Get in the mood
Yeah I know what you wanna do
Baby come on through
After I lay this track
Ima lay you back
Flat on my mattress
That ass got dat fatness
Ima smash with a passion
Then Im probably crashin
Cuz it been a long day
But ima get you off that’s just
Somethin you ain’t even gotta say
just threadbare
in a way I’m learning to love
I don’t stuff the stuffing back in anymore,
just learn to appreciate changing shape
I do require needle and thread from time to time,
and a seamstress can only repair what is pierced in the first place
velveteen
you might call it scoured, but I prefer waterworn
smoothed evermore into something ancient and precious
you might even call me beloved
You look older now.
Your face peels back
to childhood versions.
Lizard skin, you wear it
like it is your own, like
this is your life now.
Your life, which consists
of ripples on stillwater
by the grace of butterfly
effects, is only as large
as your own skull is.
Every moment is a loss
you must now accept
immediately. As well,
you have lost many
people. They have
washed like shells
into the swallow of sea.
You will never touch
their lives again. You
touch your own face.
You are limestone.
You have been etched
with many elegies down
the curve of your back,
like many lover’s graffiti.
The verses become wings,
the sun looks inviting.
The light draws you in,
makes you feel real,
because in the darkness
when you cannot see
your body, you are
nothing. Your body
is your only home.
You haven’t stared
deeply into the mirror
for too long. You have
lost time. You have lost
yourself. You are not
what you once were.
You could cry for her
and your tears would be
just echoes that dissolve
into heavy, calm silence.
One day you will be
unrecognizable.
There is nothing
you can do.
