Welcome to your new school. We
wear uniforms so no one will
bully each other over how much
money their parents make.  

We don’t pray seven times a day. We
don’t have Bible classes — just chapel
once a week. Please wear a skirt.
No, you’re not going to hell.  

We don’t use dated books with
offensive terms like “negroid,”
“mongoloid,” or “caucazoid.” No
Bible verses amidst algebraic equatons.  

Welcome to your new school. Fat
girls can also be popular here. We’re
too small in numbers for cliques.
You’re out of hell.