It started out on my shoulders.
He would add another weight
and I didn’t know I could just let go.  
My shoulders are still scarred and hurting.

Then to my legs,
I couldn’t run
mouth frozen in terror
childhood scrapes running deep into scars.

My neck was next
bent over working
or escaping
or maybe both at the same time.

Then after a long anticipation, my head.
Screaming to be let out
clawing at the insides
finally breaking down.

My torso followed shortly afterwards.
It came from a habit I called “stabbing”
Thank God I had the sense to use my elbows 
and not a real knife.

A couple years later, in a desperate attempt for affection
my arms gave out.
I used all my strength trying to support them
but now we aren’t close and they have a girlfriend.

Last of all, my feet.
Waiting in line at the baptismal water basin,
crying out
why have you all forsaken me