Am i

Am I intriguing enough?
Am I saying something?
Holding meaning that will provoke your thoughts into depths
       never experienced or explored
                   and mundane.

Am I saying everything just the same
as everyone else
My thoughts don’t seem that way
My words can’t seem to articulate
     or maybe they do…
The role of disappointment


Now what? What do I have left to say?
What could be important enough that your eyes
follow the words on this page?
Everything played out as if
It’s all a presentation, illuminating the darkness;
even so for measurement of success…
How uniquely and full of weight may
I convey
even my darkest of darkness?
That’s how I will measure
Then. search for comments
I search for meaning how you see me,
see myself
what a load of irony
and catch 22s
and damned if you do’s…

I cling to the page
whether there’s an audience or not.

I just find the worth and your approval
Even though they’re my thoughts,
my words,
my feelings
and my experiences somehow,
I still want you to be the judge
To tell me it’s good enough…
How… I articulate it is worthy of your praises
and glorification maybe even.
Or do we just glorify our assessment of;
as well just as much?
Dear God, no wonder I can’t sleep.
(Echos of mocking laughter)