Once in a tattoo shop I
listened as three male
artists and a male
client discussed their murder
method of choice if they
were villains, for you see
tattoo artists are just comic book
nerds with an edge.

Two were straightforward, bloody
and loud, a couple more graceful
or exotic. No one asked me and I
hadn’t planned to speak until I
found myself blurting, “suffocation by
face-sitting.” The tattoo gun
halted, and all eyes turned
to me. Naturally, they
told me I won.

If I ever do
drown a man
between my legs, just
know it was no
accident, nor suicide.