superficial scratches relieve pressure

placed by shorted out synapses—

it’s a punishment. electrical grounding

used to bring back reality in

a warm shower that no longer offers

calm solace, but a stinging reminder

that the water spilled over

and the stressed out puddles left behind

are a looming mess waiting to evaporate.

a comforting hand, rough fingers on my thigh

the sign of patience and love

replaced by a reminder of distrust

and false thoughts pulsating

like unpredictable hurricane waves. 

maybe this is why i like when you tie me up—

bind my arms and bruise me softly.

yes, yes. this will save me from the sins

committed against me two years and 477 miles ago