The zookeeper claims the umbrella
cockatoo is as smart as a human toddler.
As it grows and begins to mimic speech,
it can actually learn to discern
the meanings of some words:

hello when someone arrives,
bye-bye when somebody leaves,
I love you when it’s feeling sweet.

But this level awareness only occurs  
if you refrain from doling out treats. 

Listen, he says, if you reward a bird
every time it utters a word 
it will only perform, babble nonsense, 
never know what it’s saying. 
It will only be sure about one thing:  
You love to hear it speak. 

With this in mind, can we all agree 
to stop feeding politicians?