I wish to learn how to speak in such a way
that perhaps the words would go straight into my father’s brain
One clean trip
to make him understand
 letters on paper
wouldn’t make a frown disappear
it wouldn’t build confidence
make my worries float into the air
it wouldn’t be a magic eraser 
that could blur every memory that hurts 
It’s not going to build me friends 
or be what I’m worth
It will not cut off my tongue 
and restrict my words
A letter is a letter
It’s not life or death 
Even though
you may think
it is.