My name is Samuel Collins Hicks. Please, call me Sam. I’m local to Central Kentucky, but I have all my teeth hahahaha and I can play 35 to 45 cuz I don’t have much hair hahahaha
Oh I’ve always wanted to act hahaha the adults took me to see plays when I was a kid and they told me (us, they told all of us) “you can be whatever you want” and I said “I want to be the guy in the plays the adults take the kids to see” and you said “you can’t be that” but I’d see the people on the stage when they took me to see the plays and think “you can. see? you can.” I’m non-union, which means you can legally afford me, and I’m not represented, which means you can illegally afford me and I won’t know any better. I’m willing to shave my mustach, shave my head, wear polyester suits, wear car crash makeup that stains my skin and stops me from getting anything like lunch into my mouth (it’s gonna be another six Diet Coke day, and we don’t wrap until 5a.m.), willing to do stunts, do fights, do falls, do anything basically except hang dong or show hole, and honestly if we’re talking money, everything is negotiable for the man who wants to be an artist. The point is I want this more than the next guy, want it worse than the next guy, will smile harder than the next guy while I’m standing around at craft services trying to grab a(nother) Snickers before someone sees me and once I have it (and the cameras roll, and I do whatever the script says) I’ll know how special it is because I’ve always wanted it and waited for it and now I’ve got it, and that’s the first time that’s ever happened for me. And now its another Friday night and me and my closet and my ring light are looking for another chance to put on a show, and someone who might want to buy a ticket. 

Saint Genesius, pray for us.