i miss you
i will allow myself this one
instance to miss you

i felt programmed to fall
towards your decade
in rented rooms, two
my fingers searching for
that bump of cartilege,
a guide post for my hands

i followed the filepath
your words wove through
my neurons, past ganglia
and reuptake inhibitors,
each syllable more motive
to make a move to execute
towards the buttonholes
of your gingham fences

i drank the current
my excuse to stay in the arms
of a delusion that lingered just
a little too long to let
my break be an ellipsis
instead of a full stop

i thank you, now,
in these small moments of progress
when I feel comfortable
in self-comfort,

you taught me i was wrong
in the assumption my faults
were overwhelming and my features were
that unloveableness is not
immutably programed in me
even if i was your zero
and not your one