You’ll never find the best of me
in the throes of a downtown midnight.
My nature is too simple for that.

And you’ll never know the worth of me
in the frames of small-talk dialogue.
My mind is too complex for that.

One-track focusing is wonderful for things,
but not when things intersect with people–
no soft way to jump from moving trains, you see–

whereas group settings are detrimental
for there is always a louder voice.
No hard will to hold the spotlight.

I already mourn the interrupted conversation;
those loose threads blowing in the wind.
I’ll be hanged by them by the end of the night.

Cursed is the moment of off-guard opportunity
and that perfect thing to say found later.
I’ll be drowned in all the what could have been?

Sometimes I wonder
how me and others would look
as slightly different shades of the rainbow.

But if you can find me one-on-one,
well now I’m in my element. 
No third perspective to throw off my groove.

In a quiet bar with non-invasive music
or the grounded coffee shops
soaking in their creative environments.

Forget eros.
Let me show you how intimate agape can be,
sliding into all our vulnerable spaces.

There will come a day when I will need to break
and you will have one too.
I want to explore all the cracks in your armor

to learn comfort with you;
trust, safety, and reliability
all in a space occupied by two.

There is rich life to be found in quiet spaces
and perfect contentment in, with another, just being.
I just pray that you’ll be willing to give me that chance.

Whoever you end up being..