had the same man over tonight
half flacid half aroused was he
the type of package you know
was to be envied in its heyday

last time he told me “call me daddy”
the same week my own father died
this time we didn’t even come at all
this time an uber came early, early

i put the knife back under the bed
turn off someone else’s bad sex playlist  
i bounce around my own house screaming 
i reach for the ceiling in his absence