I have always missed your chest,
Even when you wouldn’t let me touch it.
Some kept warm Spanish territory
You locked between big arms.
Your usual stature,
Back turned to me with an angry mouth
So fed up there was no room for words.

Even after the police, now states lengths away
I imagine a fictional you, sorry
Gentle, slowly welcoming me to curl up
Where I’d sleep all night.
And my hair wouldn’t bother your beard.
And your snoring puts me to sleep.

It was always a dream
About somebody who looked like you
And talked more like me.
Who didn’t need to drink for hours
In a hot shower to forget,
While I slept alone.

A dream I have dreamt both before,
Beside, and after you.
It is only now, sober,
Awake, I imagine your insomnia.
Here, I know I have always slept alone.
And I never needed to hug you
To sleep soundly.