daddy’s dead  
and almost gone from my head
it takes a day like today to arouse
memories of a man i missed
when i was young
a great man in my child brain-
commander sir   ran a ship
 men in uniforms saluted him
but i didn’t know him
until he quit going off to sea
i glorified him still but i didn’t know
he liked to feel teenage girls
he felt my boobies one too many times
and i never sat on his lap after that
he never rubbed my back again
because i would let him
but my older sister
must have loved those back rubs
but then 30 years later she accused
him of being a molester  
one reason she was mind messed
she wanted him to apologize
he wouldn’t cause he didn’t remember
what she remembered but now he’s dead
been that way for quite a while
should have been dead sooner
cause he was sick and never
wanted to be a nemesis
which he was to his younger
2nd wife when it came to care
and lack of money
he was bad at investing
he taught me how to sail
he taught me plumbing
and electrical stuff
i can read a schematic drawing
thanks to him
he taught me how to train dogs 
he taught me how to obey too
and how to avoid and hide
and keep emotions inside 
and say yes sir
i don’t think of him often