Sometimes I worry you are just a myth people have told me to get through the night 

a fairytale made for kids much braver than I feel

I wonder if you’ll survive 

whatever I think is about to kill me in the moment.

Please tell me
you still love to pull your car to the side of the road just for a picture of the clouds.

Please tell me
your tongue is still as sharp as the knives you’ve pulled out of your own back.

Please tell me 
your wild hair of red still refuses to be tamed 
and that’s exactly why you love it.

I hope
you still find inspiration when you’re around rivers and underneath a rain cloud that’s seems like it’ll never let up.

I hope
you are always so excited about life and what comes next even when you’re unsure of it all.

I hope
you’re kind
and understanding.

I hope
that you keep holding the door open for the same people who would let it shut in your face.  

I hope
you still write even when it hurts 

I hope
you still write especially when it doesn’t .

I hope
Texas was beautiful 
but I think we both know nothing is as beautiful as coming home. 

I hope
you never lose the love you have found for yourself

or your writing 

or your mountains.

I hope
you never forget the part of you that wanted to live when dying felt like your only option. 

I hope 
you know that I’m working really hard to meet you someday 

and even harder to love you.