I don’t think people like me much around here
Possibly because I’m not sorry enough
I’m not polite or contrite enough
When they lie and steal from me

When I meet someone 
Who doesn’t need it all up-front
Who doesn’t hit on my wife
While I get them a smoke and one of my beers
Who doesn’t let their dog stomp my freshly planted garden
And who cleans up after it
I can safely say

You’re not from around here, are you?

Round here the roads are crumbling because of
the broken pipes underneath
And the roof leaks
On the new school, the new jail and the new courthouse
While the new library is sinking into the delta
And the lighting on the bridge is deemed unsafe
Because it’s rated “interior use only”

They say it’s time to raise my taxes
But not
Hey, didn’t your Uncle Jim-Bob wire that bridge?
Didn’t your cousin Sally-Bob put down that roof?
Didn’t your Pee-Paw supply that pipe?


Instead they tell me how rude I am
For stating the obvious
Remind me of their last names
And that they’ve lived in this town all their life
Give me an excuse that makes no sense
While their dog shits in my garden
Expecting me to nod my head
They lie to me again, smile and say

You’re not from around here, are you?