One more drive, he thinks
Passing under sagging power lines
The car’s engine grumbling its complaints
As it strains in third gear
But the driver is distracted by a beautiful pasture
The dying light of the sun setting it aglow
The grand finale as it begins its daily descent
He arrives at the base of the mountain
But even now, he’s not ready
He’ll do a lap through town and come back
The less to see the better
Houses full of memories are littered around
They act as checkpoints
Each one lined up for a wave, as the parade rolls by

An old duplex that friends moved out of last year
The gutter pipe on the side that he puked on
The night after an appendectomy, he could handle a drink, he said

The secluded farm estate that belonged to a local shop owner
Where a banging New Year’s party went down long ago
Which ended with him fearing that he would be penetrated in the night
By the owner, who kept sneaking out in his whitey tighties
To see if the boy was still awake

Finally an old home of his, about five homes ago
He has to go out of his way to see it, so he does
And each time he makes the detour it looks better than the last
Clearly belonging to responsible homeowners
He’s happy for them, but misses the shared evenings wtih friends
Strategy games and records in the living room
Hide and seek and drunken hollering out in the yard
He’s sure the neighbors are living peacefully these days

Nearly done with the tour
The mountain appears around the bend
And he can clearly see his destination, high above
It startles him to realize that even from here
He wouldn’t just be a speck of dust against the evening sky
But a flailing mess, each quivering limb
Clearly visible, seen
Wasn’t the whole point of this endeavor to be invisible?
As in life, so in death?
He’s not prepared for this revelation
He finds the car contuining past the entrance gate
Guess tonight wasn’t the night after all

Another shock
A desperate scream escapes his mouth
Filling the cab with hideous noise
A thousand tiny knives cutting his throat
He can almost taste the blood
Boiling, overheating
The poor car groans again, stuck
He pulls over, dizzy
Across the way, another golden pasture
A herd of cattle slowly trundling together along the fenceline
Tails swishing behind them in unison
He smiles, in spite of himself
Some moments are too beautfiul to ignore