it used to be a given

I’d say “when we
have kids,” dream
up their names, 
and picture the blend
of our faces in theirs

I could feel their weight 
in my belly, the tug of their
suckling at my breasts

so much full warmth 

now I am adjusting 

I say if almost 
every time,
I’m getting better
at not becoming
bitter while

myself from
too much hope 

I was never
this aware of
how similar
my pelvis is 
to an empty 

did you know
it gets harder
for phantom babies
to haunt you if
you can’t imagine
their faces and
you forget their