at a spring 
in sweltering Florida
people laughing 
in crystal clear water
I decided 
right then
that someday
I was going
to check out

another time
in the middle 
of another hot summer 
standing in line 
to pay for gas
in a car that
I was behind
on payments
that it might
be worth it
to go then

then later
working third shift
in a cooler 
stocking dairy products
I wanted to then

I can feel it
on the edge
trying to seep through
and I’m so tired

let’s just hope
there’s always
just enough of me
to see behind
that warm