***Please read carefully. This is hard to write and post, and I’m still not convinced I should post this. But, as a writer looking to challenge myself, I don’t want to stop just because something is uncomfortable, so here it is.***

Putting pen to paper to craft these impossible words with my limited experience
In the face of such depraved evils is hard.
I cannot identify with the victims and I look like the devils and I fear
Coming across as diminishing a nightmare to the squash of a bug, but let me be clear.
I cannot fathom the damage wrought!
With the perspective of nobody besides a constant potential aggressor
I try to weave around these evils that collaterally define me, that do bother me
But that’s nothing compared to the lives scarred by these unending hurts
Like you all, I am enraged and this is the only way I know how to fight, bear with me
Become the strength behind my sword to help slay this eternal night.
We all have a part that we can play, whoever we are
Father, mother, brother, sister, friend.
Let us all help each other find our place in this nocturnal war.

There was a dumpster not ten feet away
When the fainting spell took all the power
And put it into my hands
In the weight of her falling body
Whatever the biological miscalculation
The night took on a new shade of dark
As I guided her descent
With the frantic gentleness of love

And in my arms I held
All the things I could never understand
Because of who I am
Except for maybe the fear
Fear of not knowing
How long the dark would reign
Fear of the passerby
Seeing a white male over
An unconscious female body

I held the fear of a worse timing
Leaving her alone in a dark alley
Where someone who looks like me
May very well not act like me
Held her with that fear
Of that empowering temptation
That touches too many
Though it never touched me

And I hate
That this side of me must sit behind
Suspicions of my awkward nature
Because some men are dangerous
So I could be too
Driving by at night
Walking alone at night
But for now it has to be.
I’m not a victim here

No, I’m fucking enraged
About the security that is robbed
About the worlds that are shattered
That to be safe is to question integrity
And to hold a set of keys through the fingers
When there’s no one left to protect
Not even the umbrella of a justice system
Sheltering the offender from the rain

I hope for a day
For those who are a victim,
For those who fear becoming a victim,
For the friend I once held in my arms,
For the daughter I hope to have someday,
Where I don’t have to be questioned
So that you know, whatever the circumstance
If I find you in trouble at a party, in a street,
In a field, or behind a dumpster
I will stay with you
And guard you with my life
This I swear.