Screaming “Witch!” is a colonial American term for gaslighting.

False confessions are admissible in court.

Unicorns exist only in the minds of little girls who enjoy being heretics.

Nine out of ten politicians believe rape is a spectator sport.

The jabberwocky was Alice’s fentanyl dealer.

The NRA believes Jesus wrote the 2nd Amendment.

The Kraken was cancelled for inappropriate touching.

Florida is afraid its students might be able to mathematically prove slavery happened.

18.9 million firearms were sold in the United States in 2021.

Dodge City, Kansas is the Christian Mecca.

The lost city of Atlantis isn’t lost, they just said “fuck this.”