A New Year resolution,
like a garlic necklace,
stinks before you put it on.
I make Mid-Year resolutions
so I feel only half bad
when I break them:

1) Make the dogs tell the truth,
              never let them lie
2) Avoid the news
              unless it comes from
              over the neighbor’s fence
3) Save water
               piss outside
4) Hord 2 things needed for a good life,
               dental floss & toe nail clippers
5) Don’t talk about the weather,
                it already knows what it is
6) Donate shelf-less books to Good Will,
                maybe they’ll find a Good home
7) Howl at night,
                with the coyotes
8) Don’t ask what time it is,
                trees don’t count their rings,
                & the half-life of the flitting flea
                is forever
9) Stop all pilgrimages,
                let Mecca come here
10) Dream of Ethiopia 
                where weather & metaphysics 
                do not exist and time is merely
                space for physical love